Her “REVELATION” is Driving Me Insane!
Day 6
This is where the “crazy” is starting to get to me. Why do I choose to put myself through the pain of trying to keep in touch with her? Is love that blind or am I just that big of a fool? So many emotions are coursing through me at this point. I don’t know what to do with anything and everything. I’m so confused. They tell me that this will all get better.
I am going crazy wondering about “Jane” and her “REVELATION” I hope it is good for her! Not being able to share with my best friend is killing me. I want to call her all the time, I keep talking myself out of doing it, usually by calling someone else. Breaking up with me over Facebook is cruel and it hurts so much! At meetings I pray for strength for me to get through this and strength and wisdom for her to see her right path and follow it. I hope, still, that her path is with me. I love you still!
Today’s meeting was good. I spoke about my “addiction” to “Jane” and that inspired someone else to talk.
I’m Gong insane! I spoke with a friend and texted another, now I’m going for a walk before I call “Jane”.
Great meeting tonight!
Got a new sponsor, found a good friend that is kicking it too.
Spoke with “Jane” finally. Things aren’t good but we are talking.
I can see from the disconnected writings in the entry that my head is all over the place along with my emotions. One minute I’m up and the next I’m underground, or at least wishing I was. What a pendulum my life was. I am so grateful to have had the people that were there for me to pick up the phone and listen to the rantings of a lunatic.
It is interesting to see that it was only on day 6 when I ran in to my friend. I think in retrospect that this was a big help because it allowed me to still go out and do the things I used to do knowing that another person just like me would be there and we could silently look at each other and nod knowingly. It may have been a good thing for him too as we are both still sober.